Roasted Nuts

Extreme Makeover: Wasilla Edition *UPDATED!!*

Posted by Andrew Franklin on Oct. 23, 2008

Coming soon to a store near you:  The Palin Collection.  By RNC. 

Two days ago, I was getting psyched to write about the latest revelation about the Vice Maverick.  An AP investigation revealed that Sarah Palin had charged to the State of Alaska about $21,000 in travel expenses for her children.  Here's the fun part:  After reporters started to snoop around in her executive affairs, she ordered the expense vouchers she submitted changed to suggest her familys' presence was official.  This included hotels, air fare, and, of course, a snowmobile race.   A snowmobile race?  You know what I say to that?  MUSH!  MUSH!  The governor justified those expenses by claiming that her daughters were invited to participate in official functions, an assertion that has been notably refuted.  It seems, instead, that Governor Palin would either ask the event sponsor to invite her family, or they'd just show up.  As far as I know, she hasn't explained why she changed the bills before investigators got to them. Three weeks before Republican presidential nominee Sen. John McCain chose Palin his running mate, and after Alaska reporters asked for the records, Palin ordered changes to those expense reports, previously filed. In the newly polished documents, Palin added phrases such as "First Family attending" and "First Family invited" to explain and justify the girls' attendance. 

Not to be outdone by the venerable AP, Politico.com dropped an even bigger bomb the same day:  The RNC pulled a "Pretty Woman".  Playing Richard Gere to Palin's Julia Roberts, the RNC footed the $150,000 bill for her fall collection.  Oh, sure the textbook definition of a maverick is someone who refuses to brand cattle.  But nothing stopped Palin from being branded by Sak's Fifth Avenue (>$49,000) and Neiman-Marcus (>$75,000)!  Hair and makeup?  Almost $5,000!  It remains to be seen whether she has to return the wardrobe if she loses or if anyone remembered to keep the receipts.

Is that the real America?

UPDATED:  You know, I wish I could make this stuff up.  Here are a few follow up nuggets.

1)  The AP reported today that Sarah Palin's "acclaimed celebrity makeup artist" collected a higher salary than McCain's own foreign policy advisor.  Palin's stylist was paid $22,800 for 2 weeks in October, whereas Mac's own foreign policy advisor was paid only $12,500.  In fact, she was the highest paid McCain staffer this month!  In September, the stylist made only $13,200.  Of course this proves, quite literally, that the Republican party prefers style over substance. 

2)  Sarah Palin now contends that the clothes she got in Minnesota weren't really worth $150,000.  But it should be noted that Minnesota does not charge a sales tax on clothing, which certainly saved the RNC some dough.  Of all the places that the RNC could have dropped its money, I guess that makes Minnesota the most patriotic. 

3)  Trying to defend recent depictions of Palin as a moose in sheep's clothes, Palin told Fox News and The Chicago Tribune that she claims she only used the clothes for 3 days, and the items haven't left the campaign plane since.  That's right, the Republicans spent $150,000 on new clothing that she only wore once!  Governor Palin now condemns the expenditures as the "Blouses to Nowhere", and declared plans to sell the items on eBay. 

4)  Desperately trying to uphold her image as "middle class"  Palin insists that she's a frugal shopper.  In Alaska, she prefers frequenting a local Alaskan consignment shop called 'Out of the Closet'.  Out of the Closet.  Really.  You know, for someone who doesn't support gay rights, I wonder if she gets the joke.